- WISER Newsletter
- Posts
- Why Losing Things is a Blessing in Disguise
Why Losing Things is a Blessing in Disguise
(And August’s Random Acts of Wiseness)
Wisdom Made Easy
July 27, 2024
Today at a Glance:
Estimated reading time: 4 minutes, 39 seconds
Today’s WISER Newsletter is a special one.
I love showing up weekly to encourage you to get wiser, but I love it when one of you wants to share your wisdom with this community too.
This newsletter was written by Christine Hsieh, PhD.
Christine is an MIT-trained scientist turned entrepreneur who writes about healthier entrepreneurship and personal growth. You can subscribe to her newsletter here:
I’ve had the enormous pleasure of connecting with Christine over a number of months and today she’s sharing her word of wisdom, empowered with Wisdom Made Easy visuals.
Without any further ado, let’s get WISER together!
Forced space and making space are both hard for the same reason - humans feel pain from loss 2x as much as they like gains.
And holding space in our lives is also hard, because we keep feeling like we have to fill it.
My take: You can’t plant when the garden is completely overgrown.🪴
Ironically, to see this upside when space is forced on you, first you need to take space specifically to process your feelings, because how you see things will change a lot after 1-2 months.
For example, one month after leaving my last company, all I wanted was to do something completely different.
As I slowly helped aspiring entrepreneurs, talked to others, and explored the wider world again, I let some things go, and kept other pieces of my career path.
Suddenly, I had more and more opportunities. It wasn’t because I was suddenly more qualified.
It was because I’d become more open, and curious, than I’d been 4 months before.
All through holding space, being patient with it rather than rushing to fill it.
🖼️ Try Reframing
With a ritual of creating space, you can examine each thing you put back in to see if it’s engaging, positively energizing, and a good fit to your values.
When things are completely overwhelming, the single most valuable tool towards creating space that I found is the reframe.
But with a twist. You’ve likely heard of reframing before, that ability to put certain thoughts or events into another, more helpful, context. It truly is magical when you can do it. But it’s often out of reach for many people.
The key is that you often first have to apply some neuroscience. If you’re in a high stress situation, your brain is flooded by signals from emotional overload and is basically activated into fight, flight, or freeze mode.
This manifests as feeling stuck, acting overly aggressive, or feeling like you need to just get away or drown out the feelings with a distraction.
Whereas, reframes require the logical front of your brain to activate.
So that brings us to the idea of a Strategic Space practice - how can we get more space that makes us work, live, and play in more fulfilling ways?
🧠 Tip 1 - Hold Mental Space Sacred
I recognize the times I can’t hold space because I need to be with my family, get errands done, or have unavoidable meetings.
But otherwise, I make it my top priority to start the day with space. And then I use discipline to hold it as long as I can.
We all have the things that we compulsively check through the day when we’re not paying attention, are tired, are looking for some entertainment or micro rewards.
Email is one of them, but it’s a double-edged sword - especially as the day goes on and you’re hoping to maintain your productivity.
Instead, I try to only check email three times a day - once in the morning, once in the afternoon, and once at the end of the day.
For anything that I know might be more critical to look for on a given day, I run a targeted search periodically to see if something has come in.
If people really need to get a hold of me they know to either call or send a form of text message.
My goal is to move from reactivity, to proactivity and control when dealing with my inbox. I’m intentional with it.
And in return I gain and hold sacred space.
🏃♂️➡️ Tip 2 - Ground Physically to Clear Reactivity
The amygdala hijack is when the part of your brain responsible for fear takes control of your body to protect you from danger.
That danger can be literal, or perceived rewards/punishment, social slights, and other anxieties.
With the level of stress modern societal demands have put us in, we’re now regularly not in full control of our bodies, unless we proactively calm that part of our brain and clear out false dangers.
The fastest way I’ve found to reduce mental and emotional negative clutter is by getting physical. There is a suitable way to re-ground physically for every level of fitness - whether through steady breathing, yoga, walks, runs, or crossfit.
It’s not that our issues go away just because we’ve taken time to sweat or go around the neighborhood.
It’s that we gain just enough of a pause to stop automatically assuming every thought, feeling, and action we think we need to take are all as urgent and real as the others.
That tiny crack in the otherwise unending stream of thoughts and emotions is enough to allow your brain to start considering fresher perspectives again.
It’s enough to get to a reframe of the situation.
📝 Journal Prompts
• Are there any thoughts or feelings you suspect might need some space around them for you to gain a better perspective?
• If you had more Strategic Space in your life, what would be the best thing you could add back into it?
📅 Let’s Get Wiser Together!
It’s that time again: Random Acts of Wiseness!
Every month, I share daily activities that we can do to get wiser.
August’s activities have been uploaded to my website.
Download for free here:
Do you enjoy this newsletter? If so, please share it with someone! Forward this to a friend, or share it on social media!
If you’ve just received this as a forwarded email, subscribe here:
😊 Thank You!
Thanks for checking out this issue of the WISER Newsletter. If you have any feedback, I would love to hear it!
Simply reply to this email, and I will get back to you.
Alternatively, just DM me on social media. You can find me here:
Catch you in the next issue!
Thanks,
Michael
If you are interested in starting your own newsletter, consider using beehiiv to make it happen.
Using my link helps me to continue to deliver the WISER Newsletter for free.
Start your newsletter for free here:
